He aha te mea roa-raa, a ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whawhai ki a ia?

"Aue, he aha te oaoa - ki te mohio e ahau tino, e mohio ana ahau ki ahau e ahau ahau i te pai" - mahara? Otiia ki te koe he nui kuia Meri Poppins ko meinga ahuareka, maha o whiwhi he mohio hoki te mea perfectionism i runga i a koe, i kore mohio me pehea ki te oaoa i te reira. I roto i te whānui, e taea te tautuhi i tēnei āhuatanga rite te hiahia ki te whakatutuki i te ainei, tono tino tiketike ki runga ki a ratou ano, e i roto i te take o te kore e taea e arahi ki te hekenga i roto i te kiritau-. Kaimātai hinengaro, e ngana ana ki te whakahoki kupu i te pātai o te mea he roa-raa, maha kite reira rite te take angitu matua, i te mea maha, Heoi, ai mate aronganui me breakdowns io.

Predisposition whai wāhi nui. E matua Perfectionists tamariki a te taua mau metua e tohe mo te tino. I tua atu, te hunga e kore e whiwhi aroha i to ratou mau metua noa'tu, ki tonu tika reira.

Ko te hiahia ki te hei i te pai i roto i nga mea katoa te mahi koe, meinga amuamu pūmau ki te hua. Perfectionists tango i te tamarikitanga e arotakea ratou anake i runga i te pūtake o te mea ratou i tutuki. arata'i tēnei whakapono ki te rapu tamau mo te whakaaetanga o etahi i te tikanga o ngā whāinga pakeke-ki-te whakatutuki. e kore e ratou te kiritau-haere mai i roto. Ko te kupu, e tino whakaraerae ki ngā momo katoa o te faaino ratou, no te mea e hiahia ana ratou ki, te tuatahi o te katoa, ki te kia aroha me manakohia.

Na, he aha te mea perfectionism? I roto i te puta i te ohie, puka tahito, kua he tamaiti i roto i te kaha ki te hei "te tino ataahua, te mea hōu, matatini tino" mea ki kaungākalasí hae tenei taonga. A, Aue, maha rawa, kua whakaongaongatia e to ratou mau metua i teie mau hiahia. Pūmau hohonu, he taonga penei o te takitahi whanake ki te hiahia ki te kia te tuatahi i roto i nga mea katoa, kia te pai.

I muri mai, te whakahoki ki te pātai o te mea roa-raa, kei runga i te titauraa ki taa te rahiraa, mo te tauira, kia he "whaea tino", i pai nei kua hanga he mahi, me i te wa ano e whakaaro mo nga tamariki me te tane, faaho'i runga katoa i te whare. Forms whai o mana'o e taea kia tino rere: i ki te hiahia eke i runga i te motokā etaeta ke ki te whawhai kaha mo te taitara "kaiwhakahaere pai" me te rite.

He tino ohie, me ki a ratou tamariki, me hoa Perfectionists. Ēnei āhuatanga hanga ratou huru uaua i roto i te hanga o te hononga pai. Ki te maka o reira? Mahalo ko e kore tetahi nui mōhiotanga o te raruraru ka whai ki te huihui ki te awhina o te kaihaumanu. Hei whakatau i te mafatukituki 'o te āhuatanga, mā te whakamahi i ngā whakamātautau motuhake, pērā i "tauine maha-ahu o te perfectionism." E ai ki tenei tikanga tāutu ngā taumata o manukanuka, manukanuka, huru ki te faaino, feaa no te mau faaotiraa.

Tātaritanga: perfectionism. Ki te maka o tenei huru?

Tuatahi, ngana ki te whakarite whāinga kia rite ki o koutou hiahia, whakaaro e pā ana ki te mea e hiahia ana koe, a kahore e whai i te mea etahi e titau o koutou.

Tuarua, hoatu te ūnga i muri i muri noa i te tetahi o mua. Ko te tikanga o takahanga iti i roto i te take o te ahi.

A toru, tamata ki raro o ratou paerewa: hei utu o he ki te mahi i tenei mahi i te 100%, ngana ki te mahi i te tahi mea no te 80 ranei ara 70%. Tenei i pai ai i te tauturu a koutou e mohio ki te kino e mahi mahi e kore te tikanga mutunga o te ao, me te kore e pā koutou tūnga i roto i te kanohi o etahi atu. A faatumu i ni'ai te "konei me inaianei", e kore e whiwhi i mua o tatou.